Am I A Person Of Integrity?

 February 13, 2024

Or have I been I lying to myself this entire time. Maybe it’s time I stopped trusting what my anxiety and depression say. OR is that the whole point of this existence? Like, what on earth would possibly bless my brains ill-will. Jesus. No, not Jesus- like, he’d get rid of it for me. 

Have you ever wondered, that Jesus was just an advanced herbalist and witch and everyone just “forgot” to record the use of mushrooms in the Bible? Maybe his drug friend disciples would just “be there” to “witness” - perhaps they were all in on the joke. Guess what… not a joke. Like, I’d like to believe that Jesus walked on water (ooo, big trick), and healed people. I would love to be healed. Oh god, sorry m’lord, am I turning into a Jesus Person? Wow, he really did a number in history, like he’s still the most popular guy in town, #1 fans everywhere til this day. What a fucking legacy bro. Bruh. 

Oh, by the way, I can hear my roommate having sex right now I think? 

I think I use a different vernacular when I write, as I type, or speak… I say things like “right on”, “dude”, “hello?”. “Rad” and “Yo”, and other dumb things like swapping letters when I say them out loud. Listen, I spent one semester in 7th grade in a special “gifted and talented” rejects club; except there were color dweebs than I was. I was just kind of loud, frankly a bully without even knowing it. I look back at the things I used to say to the girls I sat with at lunch. I was thrown out of that group by 8th/9th grade. Girlfriends, gone. Can you imagine being in 11th grade to realize you did not have many close, female friendships? Kassee, Haley, Rachel, Julia, Amrita, Sara, Nicole, and the other Nicole… 

Jesus. How did I even get to that from talking about my boy JC?

(BTW, not my roommates, they are in fact gone and I was hearing things lol).  

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