February 24, 2023

 My increased substance abuse stemmed from how accessible it was in my life; in a design of my own creation. My inability to control compulsory actions, created an addict. 


My system was inflamed. It fed on my addictions. These addictions led to spiritual and mental psychosis. I was high functioning, completely conscious, and experiencing a mental ride that begged to be released. My consciousness protecting my journey into the depths of the human psyche, by allowing me the understanding of what I was experiencing. I moved into the new reality that was familiar to this altered version of me. I traveled so often that the time spent grounded in my earthside experience led to chronic illness, mental decline, and anxiety. 

My addictions led me to the hospital on multiple occasions, yet I still partook. I was able to process a life’s-long worth of trauma, but at what point was I getting off on my own pain? 

I was manifesting a life of decay, guised by the validation of the inner child; but the child didn’t need therapy anymore, she was healed and ready to move on. 

My goal is to be off of all medication. I give myself no time limit, as this is a life of fine tuning. As I healed my body, my one true path revealed itself. I had met my divine purpose. 




Q: How do we say goodbye to our inner child? Are they gone permanently? Veiled in the subconscious for infinity? Does she walk hand in hand with us, or do we get to tuck her into bed; safe at last? The moment that we leave her at home, is that the moment we grow up?



I understood that the shift that I was being prepared to experience, a shift that set me into my highest timeline, I needed to exit the world that I lived in. I was distracted by social media, it was hard to connect in real life. I was no longer interested in created media. I craved fresh air, Mother Nature, and human connection. My love deprivation healed as I treated my body with the utmost respect and self love. My mind had learned a valuable skill set used to navigate a landmine of old lessons. Lessons I needed to release. The pride of having won the battle of my inferno descent, had turned its ashes to the soil of my new earth. I chose that this new version of me was able to discern good from evil, as her body was the key. 

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