I am an empath

 As an empath i can feel energy. 

I can feel it shift within me. 

I am sensitive to energetic shifts.

It’s taken me a long time to learn how to regulate them, and maintain my own energy.

In order to do that I had to cleanse my body of all toxins and substances. I had poor emotional regulation and an unstable nervous system that was constantly heightened- anxious, fearful, and controlling. After being raised in a spiritually controlling environment and traumatic life events- all experience that goes against your natural grain or has disrupted your soul, can be considered trauma- I was drawn to chaos to escape, and substances to control my body and my environment. I was codependent, but what else could I have done. I was transitioning into a version of myself I did not know yet. I was undoing, healing, learning… I experienced a myriad of mental health disorders and mysterious chronic illnesses that were passed down in my genetics. Generational illness that was awakened in my DNA from constant life stressors. The closer I was to the truth, the more familiar I became with my higher self- and Source- I found healing. I found stillness, peace, and ease. I found flow. Sober flow is the natural way of life. Substances were given to us by this earth to enlighten and heal, not abuse. These were tools to open your mind to the ever flowingly available stream of consciousness. They are guides to help your cells find balance and stability as you reteach them how to work in a healthy way. The ultimate spiritual awakening I discovered was the journey to health. Living sober and in complete health has become my ultimate goal. I needed tools to expand my mind in times of crisis, to heal a broken system- a dis-functioning  brain. I had to sacrifice myself and any potential future I thought I wanted, in order to live the life I was destined for. I am wild and free. I abandoned outdated practices that distanced me from Source; from myself. I rebuilt my foundation, changed my habits, the way I lived, I broke the habit of being myself. And I was reborn. Not overnight, but little by little- and then suddenly all at once. My purpose, destiny, and future became clear. I knew to my core who I was and what my soul yearned for. I was ready to live, travel, experience culture, love, have joy, be my unadulterated self. Maladaptive daydreaming was replaced with my life, for it was better than any dream. 


October 1, 2022

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