There is no right way to be human. The entire point is to love eachother. To love yourself. To accept that amongst our differences we are all in need of and in search of, love.
I love film. I love movies, I love watching tv, and i can scroll through Tik Tok for hours. I didn’t really watch TV until I was 8sh. Whatever age third or fourth grade is. We didn’t realize it at the time, but by the time my younger sister and I were old enough to be left alone we would watch tv after school. We figured nobody knew since our older sisters were usually practicing the piano below and my mom, who had started to undergo monthly transfusions would be taking a nap on the family room couch. She was always sleeping on the couch, at time without any sort of blanket or covering (aka the power naps while dinner is cooking). My mom. That’s a story for another day. Back to tv. My sister is 5 years younger than me, and since she was one of the only friends I had, I ended up watching animated kids tv; not the cool kind, the PBS channel. Arthur started at 3-4pm. We had early release school on Tuesdays and/or Thursdays, so if we got there in time there was Sagwa at 23...
January 28, 2023 Divine union of self Light and anxiety surrendered into pain of heartache and healing, and the uncertainty and uncomfortability of my external situation. I am taking power from the dark side. The dark divine feminine is strong within me. The dark respects me, and I it. The light within learnt self love and pardoned from anxious attachment, stepping up to her worth and creating boundaries. The divine self itself is the medium of light and dark (enter black back tats and warrior body to connect with the earth, dreads). She’s comfortable in discomfort. She trusts herself for only her has gone through each of the moments in my life that broke me. She was there. May she join hands with her sister- the twin flame was within me all along. Divine union really means you are one with your higher self. Twin flames refer to the dark and light, the energetic pulls of masculine & feminine- the inevitable duality of the human existence. When there is a bala...
I’m very tired. I’m exhausted. I’m tired of people telling me it’ll get better, that I’m loved... it’s beating a dead horse at this point. I need someone to wake me up and teach me mechanisms and teach me how to love myself. Sometimes I wonder if the life I’ve been building for myself in my head since i was little, is not actually meant to be for me. It’s a new level of breakdown when you realize you are nothing like you thought you were, and you have to rediscover yourself all over again. To recognize that you’ve been propelling your life towards something that is nothing BUT a dream, is earth shattering. Your sense of self worth obliterated, your self esteem and personal motivation gone, and your ability to do anything outside of your inner child’s comfort zone becomes crippling. Only few understand the heartbreak that is redefining yourself.
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