March 1, 2020

 I’m very tired. I’m exhausted. I’m tired of people telling me it’ll get better, that I’m loved... it’s beating a dead horse at this point. I need someone to wake me up and teach me mechanisms and teach me how to love myself. 



Sometimes I wonder if the life I’ve been building for myself in my head since i was little, is not actually meant to be for me. It’s a new level of breakdown when you realize you are nothing like you thought you were, and you have to rediscover yourself all over again. To recognize that you’ve been propelling your life towards something that is nothing BUT a dream, is earth shattering. Your sense of self worth obliterated, your self esteem and personal motivation gone, and your ability to do anything outside of your inner child’s comfort zone becomes crippling. Only few understand the heartbreak that is redefining yourself. 

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